Let’s Talk About, Feed.

There’s a lot of hype right now in the eating disorder community about the Netflix movie, To The Bone. However, we really should be talking about the new movie, Feed. (I attached a link to the trailer at the end.)

I am always hesitant when it comes to watching movies or shows that portray an eating disorder because I never know if it will trigger me. However, I am so glad I watched Feed and I really encourage everyone I know that doesn’t suffer with an eating disorder to also watch this movie. 

Feed does a phenomenal job at capturing the mental aspect associated with eating disorders. This movie does not glamorize eating disorders in anyway. It does not have a huge emphasis on weight loss. It shows the need for control which is what eating disorders are really all about. It shows what its like in the mind of an eating disorder and how easy it is to believe that the voice is a friend.

Feed is finally something that I feel like will help people to better understand eating disorders. So many people would tell me, “just eat” or assume that because I am eating again, I am cured. Unfortunately its not that easy because of that voice… that nasty voice that doesn’t really go away. 

For me, watching this movie at points was a little hard because it did hit so close to home. My ED told me many of the same exact lines that it told Olivia, the main character in Feed, throughout the movie. There were scenes that I felt so easily could have been taken from my own experiences in recovery. (Like when Olivia made the comment about having to drink her salad dressing…don’t even get me started on the nurses making me drink my leftover cereal milk…)

 So to my eating disorder survivors, tread lightly when watching this because it can be triggering. To those who know someone suffering with an eating disorder this is a MUST watch. And to those who may never be impacted by an ED or think you do not know anyone struggling with an ED, still watch this movie. You may be surprised on what signs you’re missing out on.

here’s a link to the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFqV9xtw0Ig

You can watch Feed on youtube or video on demand.

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fear food friday

I am probably the worst newly 21 year old ever. I always turn down going out with friends, ordering drinks, and I already have searched for my “safe” drink. On top of all of that, my ED has a really bad way to compensate drinking. 

The rule used to be, if I was going to drink that day then I could NOT eat dinner. If I ate dinner, it would be more calories, PLUS my body would need more drinks to feel the effects of drinking. That’s just too many calories.

I pretty much stopped going out entirely this past year at school because well, I was really not taking care of my body. I can’t starve all day and then drink with friends. That’s not smart! So I’ve been working on this. 

If there is one thing people seem to LOVE to do, it is going out to get margaritas–One of my biggest no nos. there is just so much sugar in a margarita. Plus Mexican food is so good and high in calories…I could never let myself enjoy. After turning down my moms offers many times to get margaritas with her, I finally realized this is something I am afraid to do. So when my sister and cousin asked if I wanted to get margaritas I said YES. I am done missing out on fun. 

So that’s exactly what I did. I had so much fun. I did not look at the skinny margaritas and order one of those, I ordered the one I wanted. I even ordered dinner since I had not eaten much that day and well, I need to eat dinner! Sure they all ordered another one and I just took about over an hour to drink my one, but I did it. I challenged myself and stepped out of my comfort zone. 

I still really just do not like drinking. I only really drink when I am with friends. But either way I did something I was uncomfortable with. Maybe I’ll even do it again.