“I feel so fat right now.”
What is that even supposed to mean? The last time I checked, fat is NOT a feeling. I wrote a similar post to this a year ago, so let’s make this post “fat is NOT a feeling: part 2”
When I think I feel fat, here are some things as to what I really mean:
- I feel sad and upset with myself right now
- I feel ashamed for eating and loving my body
- My eating disorder has me convinced that I can never be beautiful if I eat that food
Or I find myself being happy if I feel skinny.
- I am so happy with how I look right now despite the feeling that I will black out.
- I have no energy to talk to other people but at least I ‘look’ great
- I can only be happy if I’m skinny
I have it convinced in my head that being fat is bad but being skinny is good. It makes me believe that if someone is fat they obviously cannot be happy with life. By associating these feelings with the feeling of be fat, it makes me kind of a brat. How can I be advocating for self-love if I still associate fat with those feelings? When I was at my lowest weight I was FAR from happy. When I was at my skinniest I wanted to be dead. Last time I checked, that’s not happiness.
Fat does not equal disgust nor does skinny equal happiness. The way our bodies look have no connection to how we should feel. When I say things like “I feel so fat right now” I need to stop and think how I’m affecting other people. And when I think I feel so “skinny right now” I need to remind myself of those cold hospital rooms. By negatively labeling fat I am just adding to this negative stigma about body image–I am convincing people they need to reflect on their body shape to decide if they’re worthy of happiness.
Until we are able to come to this conclusion and understanding that our body shape has nothing to do with our outlook on life, we will never be happy. Until we learn to love the person living inside our skin, we will never be happy.
Fat is not feeling nor is Skinny.