Yesterday I was lucky enough to see twentyonepilots. I am so thankful my father got us these tickets because I cannot express how important their music is to me.
Music has been a huge part of my recovery. Whether it came from playing music (yes I used to play the oboe…and flute and piccolo) or just laying down listening to some tunes I instantly am taken to a different place.
I feel calm and well. I feel happy and safe. I feel alive.
It seems silly that a song can have so much power over me, but boy it does- Especially the songs preformed by twentyonepilots. I discovered this band during one of the toughest times of my life; senior year of high school. If it wasn’t for my after school job and their songs, I do not know how I would have made it through the day. See, I do not only suffer from an eating disorder, but I also have Bipolar II, which is a form of manic depression.
I felt very only and fake since I was keeping these secrets about my illnesses from so many people. But listening to TOP made me feel like I belonged somewhere. I really cannot explain how passionate I am about this band. We all have that band we love unconditionally or that one song that takes us to a certain memory. For me, twentyonepilots takes me to times of despair, but also to some of the happiest moments of my life.
So last night, being in the same place as them was outstanding. I do not know what words to say to describe the euphoria I felt.
One of my favorite songs by them is Car Radio in this song there is a lyric that says “you need to try to think” I always interpreted this sentence as a way to stay alive and fight. So when I listen to the song, I replace “think” with “eat” because that’s what I need to do to stay alive. I need to try to eat. It is foolish really, but it helped me get through.
Music is powerful. I encourage you all to find that song that speaks to you. I know it is out there. Music makes me feel whole. And twentyonepilots make me feel alive.