It’s been about 2 months since my last letter to you and I have some things I want to tell you.
It’s long overdue, but I finally accept you.
I love you, body.
I love your scars.
I love everything.
I was ashamed of you for so long, but not anymore.
I started realizing this the other day at work. I see my campers running around without a care in the world. They are all different sizes. Some are super tiny and others have a belly that sticks out. I look at them and all I see is beauty and potential. I do not look at them and see fat or failure.
These little kids do not worry about how they look. They just want to run around and eat Popsicles. They are excited and hopeful. They do not miss out on activities because they do not like the way they look.
I wish I could go back to having the innocence of a 5 year old. I may not be able to change that, but I can change how I react to the changes my body makes. I am 21 years old. I need to accept that it is not normal to still wear jeans from my sophomore year of high school. I am a woman now, not a little girl. My body is growing the way it is supposed to be.
Right now, my stomach is so bloated. And I honestly am not triggered by it. I think of one of my campers who is so lovely in everyway. She has a belly and is so confident in herself and she is only six. I feel crazy for being inspired by a six year old, but my campers really are what helps me get through tougher times.
So body, I’m glad we are friends again. I’m glad that you are getting the nutrients you need to grow how you are supposed to. Maybe it’s time we throw away those clothes from high school. It’s time we move on from this.
Take my hand, body- we are in this together
I love you body,
Your friend always,